Dog Daily News

Austin's Steak and Ale House: The antidote to Viagra? (Photo: New York Daily News)

So an old man walks into a bar, places a bet on a horse at the OTB window, and turns to leave. On his way out, he trips on a Pomeranian and loses his sex drive.

There is no punch line, and to Irving Grossman, 81, this is no laughing matter. In fact, he is suing the bar. According to the New York Daily News, the Queens retiree claims the fall at Austin’s Steak and Ale House caused him “severe pain, shock, mental anguish,” and wrecked not only his kneecap, but his sex life with his wife, Jaclyn.

“What can I say?” Irving told the Daily News. “It’s the story of my life.”

It’s the story of Irving’s life? So Irving has walked into bars, tripped on dogs, and ruined his sex life before? That is some bum luck! And his poor wife!

If this is the tripped-on Pomeranian, it appears he or she has lost all sense of good taste due to the incident. A lawsuit is definitely in order.

But since we are dogs, we also wonder about the well-being of the Pomeranian. How is he or she doing now? Did getting tangled in Irving’s feet cause the poor dog severe pain, shock, and mental anguish as well? Are there embarrassing problems with intimate relations? Is this Pom going to sue too? We’ll keep you posted if we sniff out further developments.