Dog Daily News

It’s getting a little creepy, to say the least. A couple of weeks ago there was a big hubbub about the book, “Time to Eat the Dog? The Real Guide to Sustainable Living.” And on the heels of that came “Eating Animals,”  a book about factory farming that includes a section on how eating dogs might actually be good for the earth. Maybe it was tongue in cheek, but it sure left a bad taste in our mouths.

Today, a piece in The New York Times keeps the story alive. It talks about all the rancor “Time to Eat the Dog?” has stirred up. The premise of the idea, for any of you dogs who understandably have buried your head in the sand, is that the ecological footprint for a dog is enormous – twice that of an SUV. Eating dogs, however, would create a much smaller Fido footprint, and take advantage of an abundant food source. Or something like that. To be frank (and lord knows I am Frank!) we couldn’t stomach reading all the details of their gory plan.

Apparently there are still many good people whose stomachs turn over at the thought of dogs being the next chicken. They’re writing blistering comments all over the web, and they’re penning notes to the New Zealand authors of this book. The book’s authors are scratching their heads, much as their future dream meals do sometimes, but for different reasons (fleas).

“The reason we called the book ‘Time to Eat the Dog’ with a question mark is, we were not actually suggesting that you should actually eat your dog,” co-author Robert Vale said in an interview. “And we didn’t provide any recipes in the book.”

Well bravo, Bobby! You used a question mark, and you didn’t include any recipes in the book! We feel much better now. Not! It’s really no comfort, but I suppose it’s not quite as bad as the Twilight Zone episode, “To Serve Man.” (We won’t give away the punch line, but if you haven’t seen the episode, it’s worth a look – especially if you’re a human who wants to know how the dog-on-a-plate idea gives dogs the willies.)

Meanwhile the mere fact that two books have recently hit the shelves and garnered tremendous publicity because they espouse dog eating – even if purely for purposes of getting publicity – makes us uneasy. Zulu is positively trembling. Oh wait, he always does that.

According to Jonathan Safran Foer, author of “Eating Animals,” eating dogs is perfectly legal in 44 states. Yes, United States states.  And if you’ve ever wanted to know about dog meat (The very term makes us shudder!!!), a Wikipedia entry tells all. It even provides a chart revealing our nutritional value.

Maybe Vale can pat himself on the back because he didn’t include a recipe, but Foer cannot. He provides a recipe for Stewed Dog, Wedding Style, which hails from the Philippines. (We won’t reprint it or add a link, lest someone decide to try this at home.) If this were made from beef, for instance, we’d be licking our chops. But since it’s made from our fine furry friends, it makes us retch.

There are already plenty of popular pooch dishes around the world. Here are some examples of dog dishes that are beloved in Vietnam. (It’s safe to assume that “cho” is Vietnamese for dog.):

Thit cho hap – steamed dog meat

Doi cho – dog sausage

Canh Xao Mang Cho – Bamboo shoots and dog bone marrow

Cho Xao Sa Ot – Fried dog in lemon grass and chili

We think it’s time we dogs launch an advertising campaign, sort of like the anti-smoking campaigns that have been so successful at preventing kids from picking up the ciggy habit Maybe the premise can be, “Eat Dogs: Get Rabies.” It can happen. Dog flesh can indeed transmit rabies. Ironic, isn’t it, that you can get rabies from biting a dog, when it’s usually the other way around?

Whether dog bites man, or man bites dog, it’s never a good thing. Let’s end this madness now. Let’s put down our forks, stop baring our teeth, and discuss this rationally. Perhaps over a meal.

We only ask that when you send us the invitation, it doesn’t say, “Dear dog. We would like to have you for dinner.”