Dog Daily News

This is not Pip passed out drunk. It's a reasonable likeness, however, since this is a 4-month-old Puggle who doesn't look terribly conscious. (Photo: Legacy Kennels.)

A story in the Cedar Rapids Gazette today tells of an Iowa City man who allegedly poured vodka into the bowl of a puppy he was babysitting for 30 minutes and encouraged him to drink. And it seems the puppy, Pip, liked the idea and lapped it right up. Perhaps it was from a lovely bottle of chilled Chopin, which even the most discerning palates enjoy (it’s a potato vodka from Poland; if the pup likes potatoes, he may have thought he was drinking a tuber). Or maybe it was some cheap Walmart knockoff. Puppies usually aren’t too discerning. I should know. I was once a puppy.

Was Chopin to blame?

Regardless of the brand, the result was not pretty:

According to the newspaper account, when Pip’s person turned up to retrieve him, the dog was unresponsive, barely breathing, with his tongue hanging out. The babysitter allegedly said to Pip’s person that “Pip’s a little drunk right now.”

That’s not OK. The pup, whom the story identifies as a “Puppgle,” which we think is a misprint for “Puggle,” is only 4 months old. Puggles, a cross between a beagle mom and pug dad, probably already have enough issues since they’re related to pugs. (Zulu has the day off or I wouldn’t be able to write this.) But a 4-month-old puggle is quite small, and the amount of vodka he drank was probably quite large. The dog almost died of alcohol poisoning, but critical care for two days at the vet’s pulled him through.

The man who got Pip drunk is now facing animal abuse charges that could get him up to two years in the slammer and a fine of up to $5,000. That’s one expensive lesson. We’ll bet he thinks twice before offering a drink to an underage dog. However, if he would like to buy me a glass of port sometime, I won’t say no. I’m partial to the sweet drinks, and I am of the legal age for everything except social security.