Wednesday, October 7th, 2009...8:53 pm

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A letter to Mayor Gavin Newsom: Paying for dog poop

If San Francisco's mayor, Gavin Newsom, helps people get paid for dog poop, I predict we'll soon be calling him "Governor Gavin."

If San Francisco's mayor, Gavin Newsom, helps people get paid for dog poop, I predict we'll soon be calling him "Governor Gavin."

(I wrote this today based on the previous story in Dog Daily News. I promised I would post the letter to San Francisco’s mayor when I completed it, so here it is.)

Oct. 7, 2009

To the Honorable Mayor Gavin Newsom,

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Frank. I am editor and publisher of Dog Daily News (www.dogdailynews.com), based in San Francisco. I am a dog.

It has come to my attention, in the line of duty, that our sister city, Taipei, is implementing a very forward-thinking policy. The city (and perhaps all of Taiwan. I don’t have all the details) is rewarding people for picking up dog droppings. It’s part of an effort to keep the city clean. It is being met with enthusiasm.

People get $100 per kilogram of dog poop. “Wow!” you may be thinking. “That’s even more than the foie gras at my restaurants!” But keep in mind that $100 in Taiwan is $3 US. Still, $3 for about two pounds of dog poop sounds very attractive. Our parks would be the cleanest in the US.

I myself am a small dog, a Jack Russell sort of guy. So scooping my own won’t bring in much cash. But I would be more than happy to go to all the parks where there are lots of orphan poops and bring a wheelbarrow and get rich. (I don’t make much money running a dog news service.)

If you would like to learn more about Taiwan’s pooch poop policy, please see the AFP story at this address: http://bit.ly/19hAf8 . I will be happy to help you implement a similar pay-for-poo policy. The only hangup I can see is if people start thinking they can turn in their own poop for money, pretending it’s from a big dog. But that is too disgusting to contemplate. Let’s let your policy wonks deal with the details.

If you take on this issue, I predict we’ll soon be calling you “Governor Gavin.” It’s that big an issue for those of us who are deeply immersed in the city’s dog culture. If you pay us for dog poop, we’ll help get you to the Governor’s Mansion.

You can contact me through my website if you wish to discuss this further.

Your humble (but loveable) servant,

Frank the Dog

6 Comments

Filed under Celebrities, Dog news and stories, Dogs

6 Comments

  • Zipper
    October 8th, 2009 at 9:20 am

    Frank,
    Thanks for taking this fearless step forward. Methinks, though, that the mayor is so busy dealing with all the horse manure he puts out that dog poop isn’t high on his agenda.
    Sincerely,
    Zipper

  • dogdailynews
    October 8th, 2009 at 9:30 am

    Oh Zipper, I hope the mayor doesn’t know where you live. If he responds to my letter and wants to know, I promise I won’t tell him. It helps that I don’t know, so never, never tell me your address, just in case…
    Frank

  • Zipper
    October 8th, 2009 at 9:36 am

    Oh, Frank, he’s just a human. I’m not afraid. You should see how fierce I look!
    That reminds me, Frank: I’ve noticed some commentators here on the Dog Blog have their photos. How can I get mine on there?
    Zipper

  • dogdailynews
    October 8th, 2009 at 9:54 am

    Zipper, I bet you scared off the mayor with that last comment. I won’t tell him you’re just a little fluffy guy — at least I assume you are, by the breed you mentioned once. He’ll never know how petite and harmless you really are. We’ll just keep that between us.

    Speaking of which, I have no idea how some dogs manage to get their photos on with their comments. I was scratching my head the other day about that (and yes, there was a flea, too). If I figure it out I will let you know. Although maybe it’s safer if your face doesn’t appear on here yet until we know the mayor won’t be reading your comment…

    Frank

    Frank

  • Zipper
    October 8th, 2009 at 10:13 am

    Don’t forget, Frank, that “Shih-Tzu” translated from Mandarin means “Lion Dog”. Mayor Gavin: Hear me roar!

  • dogdailynews
    October 8th, 2009 at 10:54 am

    You’ve got nothing to worry about then, Zipper. You can take him on, and his restaurant thug friends. You can handle his restaurant thug friends with their sharp knives. (Oh wait.. didn’t you say your person is going to culinary school? Sorry for the affront.)
    Frank

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